It’s Wednesday! Wednesday! Gotta get down on Wednesday! Everybody’s looking forward to the half-price cinema experience, half-price cinema experience! Actually, Rebecca Black would probably shit herself with confusion if she went into a cinema; a choice of two seating options bemuses her, for God’s sake, she’d never cope. And Odeon don’t even do reserved seats! Blimey. Time to get your citrus on, guys and gals!

It’s just another day, another bloody day that’s inevitably going to roll into the next awful day and on and on so you might as well get that bit of rope and – hold on! It’s not just any old day, it’s WEDNESDAY! Half price cinema awaits! Grab your remaining friend and let two-for-one grappling commence!

Wednesdays aren’t great, all things considered – the relaxation of last weekend has totally worn off, the prospect of Friday night is at least two days away and you can’t ever quite shake the knowledge that whatever happens, you will still die alone. Still, two for the price of one’s a bloody good offer, eh?

BOGOF cinema ticket offer lovers, this is your moment! It’s Wednesday, as tends to be the case at this point in the week, but the Best For Film ranks have been swelled almost to bursting point by a merrily capering band of brand new shiny writers. You might hate them all, of course, but it doesn’t seem likely and anyway, Papa ‘Man of the People’ Neish is back. Huzzah!

The great stones of BFF towers are looking sparse and sad today, mainly because resident guard-human Magda is nowhere to be found (she’s a danger to herself and others when she’s roused), and John’s chair keeps collapsing annoyingly/hilariously. Still, tis Orange Wednesday dammit, and the power of two for one MUST BE RESPECTED.

Oranges and Lemons, say the bells of Saint Clement’s! Christ only knows who Saint Clement was (he would, definitely), but when it comes to finding out which of this week’s releases are bathed in luxurious and giving orange nectar and which are dripping with malign lemony piss, we’ve got it down pat.

Thank God you didn’t take the plunge and try to make a second friend this week, eh? Imagine – if you had, you’d have to draw straws or something to work out who to take with you for some Wednesday-based Orange goodness. And to be honest, there’s quite enough going on without getting straws involved.

You may recall that, in the antique nursery rhyme, Solomon Grundy was married on a Wednesday. We don’t particularly trust anyone who’d get married when they could be seeing FILMS for HALF FREE, to be honest. Plus he never leaves us nice comments. Solomon Grundy is, we must conclude, something of a tosser – if you aren’t, read this lovely blog!

Disaster! It’s Wednesday, but at Best For Film Towers team members are dropping like flies (has anyone ever actually seen a fly drop?) and our collective power is waning under the relentless bacterial onslaught. Still, that’s not going to stop us infecting whole screens full of Orange Wednesday-goers, so the least you can do is read this blog and find out where we won’t be sitting.

Did you win the Lottery at the weekend? No? Then you’re probably still hopelessly reliant on Orange Wednesdays, and so are we. Read on for our spectacularly biased and childish assessments of what to watch this evening…