Star Wars fever has simmered down, and your normal OWL service resumes in a week filled with Masters and Sapphires, whales and chatlines, and of course Ben Affleck running around Iran pretending to be George Lucas. But what should you spend your precious Orange Wednesday ticket on? Don’t ask Obama – he’s busy today – check with us instead.

Jesus, have we really done this ninety times? With just days to go before Skyfall hits our screens (and another week until payday) you may be saving your pennies for a Bond fix at the weekend, but our ceaseless quest to inform the mid-week cinemagoing of the population at large cannot be slowed by such trivial concerns. Plus, we have NEW writers! Hurrah!

After an all-too-long absence, the weary defenders are once more hauling themselves to the turrets and parapets of Best For Film Towers to boom their cinematic advice across the snowy wastes of Internet. What will you be seeing this week – the whimsical horror-themed animation, or the other whimsical horror-themed animation? Or ParaNorman?

The UK might be in the midst of taking a severe battering from Mother Nature (after all we do for her?), but in the world of Best For Film, we don’t let that dampen our spirits. What better excuse to take a trip to the cinema than to avoid the pissing rain? And on that note…

Winter is coming, the interns are getting fat (not really, guys) and beneath our protective layers of wool and goosefat we’re seeking the protection of Best For Film Towers’ roaring fires and roasting oxen. But there is no room in the great hall for a writer who won’t serve his turn on the walls, so here we are again to warn you of the cinematic ogres in your path.

It’s happening again! A new cadre of reinforcements have arrived at Best For Film Towers, kit gleaming with polish and pen nibs glinting in the autumn sunshine. Can anyone remember why the OWLs got so terribly militaristic? Anyway, they’re here and so are you and maybe you want to read what they think about this week’s releases? Go on.

Yesterday Best For Film was without its traditional Tuesday Cheat Sheet for the first time in more than a year – we simply couldn’t keep up with the concept of ‘having Monday off’, apparently. But don’t worry, routine-lovers! The OWLs are here, ordering you to see slightly more obscure films than you actually want to just like we’ve done ninety-odd times before. And will continue to do until everyone is dead.

In a bleak twist of fate, Best For Film Towers has been left undefended. The interns have fallen, forcing John to head off on an epic quest to replenish the troops; thank goodness he can call upon old allies to see him through these dark times. Step up to the brink, weary soldiers – you are now the only thing standing between the fearsome dragons of modern civilisation and your beloved BFF. Prove your worth and select the best films out this week, stat…

As another Best For Film internship reaches its close, our once-stalwart defenders ready their packs and prepare to demob. Do you think you have what it takes to man the ramparts against the endless torrent of crap films and even worse journalism infesting the Western world? Apply for our BRILLIANT internship here, but for now enjoy our pick of the week’s films:

It’s finally happened – Hollywood has run out of ideas. The blockbuster schedule is looking dead this week (at least until Brave and The Bourne Legacy make an appearance on Monday), and Best For Film Towers is accepting foreign aid to get them through the difficult times. Juice your 橙s and 柠檬s (oh yeah, we’re getting our Chinese on) and let’s faire cette chose!