We reported a while back that Penelope Cruz had been cast in the new Pirates Of The Carribean film, but at the time there was no word on who she would play. It’s been revealed today that she’s set to play BlackBeard’s daughter, who meets Jack Sparrow on his quest for the fountain of eternal youth.

On Stranger tides indeed. It’s been revealed today that though a lot of Pirates 4 will be filmed in Hawaii, a sister location will be used for some scenes. And that glamourous location is? Cornwall. Brilliant.

Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner of Twilight fame join Zac Efron and Miley Cyrus as Oscar hosts this year, a decision which some find surprising. With the teen market being marketed too so heavily, some people are worried that the Academy Awards might be losing a little of its prestige.

For a while there Pirates 4 was all looking a bit pear-shaped; Orlando had stepped down, Keira walked the plank and it looked like it would be Johnny Depp sailing solo. However, then Penelope Cruz climbed aboard, Ian’s stowed away (we’re rapidly running out of piratey metaphors) and things are generally looking up for team Pirates.

Apparently the sultry star of Nine (well, potential Best Supporting Actress anyway) is in negotiations to join Pitt on his latest cruise around the Caribbean. The two have worked together before in the heartbreaking memoir Blow so it’s safe to say that there’s be no lack of chemistry on-board. Swapping Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom for Penelope Cruz? It’s a bit like swapping an old button and a bit of a playing card for 20 quid.

Hurrah! It’s the golden event of the cinematic calender, where dreams are crushed, legends are made and celebrities get very, very, inappropriately drunk. What’s not to look forward to?

And so another decade comes to a close. Come with us down memory lane as we recall the snakes-and-ladders-esque ups and downs of Hollywood’s movers and shakers from 2000-2010.

Rob Marshall’s Nine is set in an ultra chic 1960s Rome. Daniel Day Lewis stars as Guido Contini, a troubled Italian film-maker who after a string of cinematic flops, has ten days to go before shooting his long awaited movie Italia. What’s troubling him? Women of course. Women in the form of Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman and Marion Cotillard to name but a few…

It’s been left up to Disney to challenge our hackneyed beliefs by presenting us with a bunch of spies that take the form of… wait for it, you’ll love it… Guinea pigs! Yeah, those infanticidal, hooting, air-sniffing pigs. As spies. It’s a one-note joke that’s taken to the extreme – Pixar would’ve made an idea like that into a witty ten minute short. Here, it’s 90 minutes long, and generally one ninth as entertaining, too.