The vampire has become so well integrated into popular culture it is hard to imagine a time when a romance didn’t come with fangs, and their recent resurrection can be attributed to one film: Twilight. With one brooding scowl from R-Pattz the world was divided into two groups: swooning squealing Twi-hards and, well, sane people. Yes, as you may have guessed I am not exactly what you’d call a fan. I have never read the books and anything that makes a teenage girl scream like a banshee in my vicinity was always going to provoke feelings of intense hate from me. However, even I can admit Twilight is not without its good qualities.

In Tetro, we are given a fascinating and absorbing insight into a family plagued by regret, paralysed by rivalry and past betrayal. Unfortunately, though using highly personal material makes Coppola’s film shine, it also holds it back from real achievement.

Get Him To The Greek foolishly promotes a supporting player – Russell Brand’s egotistical rock star Aldous Snow from the 2008 relationship comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall – to centre stage in his own film. You can have too much of a good thing and we have our fill of Aldous’s sexist outbursts well before the first hour.

A British re-make of a black French comedy, Wild Target is a film that, sadly, never quite hits the bullseye. Bill Nighy, Rupert Grint, Rupert Everett, Martin Freeman and Emily Blunt all lent their hands to this crime caper, with a script never quite lives up to the talent around it. Despite its stellar cast and romping pace, the team are let down by bad jokes, sloppy storytelling and cliche characters.

If Robert Luketic’s action-packed romantic comedy is to be believed – and it is an almighty stretch – men are capable of hiding everything from their nearest and dearest. In the case of the film’s charming hero, he manages to meet, woo and marry the woman of his dreams without revealing a vital part of his genetic make-up. His unsuspecting wife will definitely regret her wedding vows to love him ’til death us do part, and to be honest, we regret paying the ticket price.

The weight of public expectation can be a heavy burden – it can cripple even the strongest men. In 2006, Noel Clarke wrote and starred in Kidulthood. His gritty portrait of disenfranchised youth culture raised eyebrows and two years later, he wrote, directed and starred in the sequel, Adulthood. The continuation of his emotionally damaged characters was a wake up call to the UK box office, taking an impressive £1.2 million in its opening weekend. Cinemas hurriedly arranged additional screenings and Clarke accepted his newly-minted reputation as the bright young thing of home-grown cinema. There were obvious concerns that he was a one-trick pony. Thankfully not.

If you’re already aware of The Killer Inside Me, chances are you’ll almost certainly know of it as “that film where Casey Affleck beats seven shades of blue out of Jessica Alba’s face.” You don’t have to wait long to find out that you have not been lied to. Indeed, if The Killer Inside Me sets out to make audiences feel uncomfortable, then it is an undeniable success. But does the film have anything else noteworthy to offer us?

It’s always a risk when film-makers decide to try and attach heavily religious messages to blockbusters, and it doesn’t get more heavy-handed than in The Book Of Eli. Sadly, this post-apocalyptic story of one man’s quest to bring Jesus-based enlightenment to a wretched humanity comes off as what it is; a sermon with added guns.

Sigh. Why do this to us, Hollywood? Why? How Space Chimps 2 ever got past the DVD shelf is beyond us, but sadly, inexplicably, it did, and it’s launched to number seven in the UK top tep this week. Shame on you Britain. Shame on all of us.

Set shortly after the events of Jaume Balaguero and Paco Plaza’s nerve-shredding 2007 film, [Rec] 2 slyly uses the locations, characters and storyline from the first film as a solid foundation for a second hellish journey into a Barcelona apartment block, where a viral outbreak has apparently transformed the residents into flesh-crazed killers.