You’ve seen the lists of forthcoming blockbusters, superheroes and potential Oscar-fodder, but what are the 2012 films you haven’t heard of and have no interest in seeing? H Anthony Hildebrand has all the inessential (and made up) details.

Having picked up the award for Best Actress In A Drama at Sunday’s Golden Globes, it is already very clear what The Iron Lady’s strengths are. In choosing to take the woman out of the politics (or rather, the other way around), however, director Phyllida Lloyd runs the risk of wasting everyone’s time in exchange for one award worthy performance.

Francesca Simon’s wildly successful Horrid Henry books have at last made it onto the screen, and the eponymous terror’s cinematic exploits are guaranteed to keep kids rapt from his first act of unnecessary biscuit theft to his final defiant bit of on-screen graffiti. If you happen to be carting a child about, be a sport and take him/her/it along – he/she/it’ll have a fantastic time.

Who are the most baked, caned, hopped-up or tripped-out characters in movie history? Here, in the sort of order which can only really be dreamt up through a haze of quaaludes, mescaline and Night Nurse, are our top ten.

Now quite frankly, this is scary…

Tamsin Greig is the only high point in this mediocre thriller about a woman’s hallucinations.

With their debut feature Jackboots on Whitehall about to open the Raindance Film Festival, the McHenry Brothers are men to watch. We caught up with them in London to talk puppets, Nazis and Terminator 2…

Two parts Team America and one part Battle of Britain, with a healthy dose of Robot Chicken and some Braveheart thrown in for good measure, Jackboots on Whitehall sounds like a thoroughly unsavoury mix – think sage gravy and Minstrels. But don’t be fooled! With the addition of some superb voice talent and snazzy FX, first-time directors the McHenry brothers have created an unorthodox but thrilling cinematic taste sensation. Think chicken hearts and fried banana (trust us on that one).

Richard E. Grant and Paul McGann star in this cult classic about two actors who go on holiday “by mistake”. Unemployed actors Withnail (Grant) and “I” (McGann) escape their 1960s Camden flat for a much-needed holiday in the countryside. However they soon discover that the country is just as, if not more stressful than living in London.