“Can I stay for a while?” “No, Hugh Grant. Fuck off.”

With a plot as cheerfully convoluted as its title, viewers might start to feel sea-sick trying to keep up with the ridiculous twists and turns of The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists. But does it matter? Not really. This is home-made Aardman animation at its most visually dazzling, and the love, humour and detail locked in every frame ensures that story quibbles are soon tossed over-board.

Monday tomorrow, innit? Nay bother, let the noisy world of FILMS OUT THIS WEEK drift over your eyes like a lovely, expensive breeze, and ponder what you should watch this week as a reward for being ever so good. Who needs words when you have movey movey pictures, after all?

It’s Saturday morning – you’d planned to get up early and make the most of the day, but instead you hid under the covers until quarter to eleven like a shut-in with a passion for snuggliness. You’re such a failure. But never mind – if you’re not going to experience the world first-hand, you can just catch up on the best of the week’s movie news with our regular round-up!

We were sure they didn’t have a leg to stand on…

As we enter Oscar season it is easy to forget that, while cinema of course has a responsibility to impress and inform, it is ultimately at its best when making you laugh out loud at an anthropomorphised something-or-other in a screen shared by adults and children alike. When it’s a bit more animated, if you will. As such, here is a list of the ten most exciting animated movies heading to a cinema near you this year.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!

Prepare yourself for a relentless onslaught of legendary British voices, classic Aardman stylings, slick 3D and more Christmas spirit than you could shake even a really big candy cane at – it could only be Arthur Christmas. And it’s totally, overwhelmingly charming, just like you knew it would be. What are you doing on a computer? Just go and watch it, Scrooge – and would it kill you to wear a snazzy jumper?

Perhaps they can move it to a Pirate! ship?

BETWEEN THIS AND THE MUPPETS WE’RE GETTING VERY ANNOYING