You may have noticed that Thor and Loki are working their way towards what the internet has dubbed a Thoreal commercial with ever-lengthening hair dos. It’s my duty to report that the danger is real, but it isn’t such a bad thing (so far).
Oh yeah, like any other journalist on the planet resisted that title.
Thor is back, and the God of Thunder’s got a new gang. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three are still about, but (courtesy of the increasingly confused Marvel Cinematic Universe) Thor’s now attended by some new celestial hangers-on. Say hello to the Muse of Stilted Dialogue, the Sibyl of Utterly Predictable Action Sequences and the Demon of Irrelevant Villains, coming together to make a film so grotesquely misshapen that it’ll actually make you look forward to all the plagiarised bits. Sort of.
In the soon-to-hit-cinemas Thor: The Dark World, Christopher Eccleston is due to play Malekath the Accursed, Lord of the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim (let’s hope that Svartalfheim has a north). In honour of this completely mad choice of villain, we’re heading into the Marvel vaults to find ten bad guys even more deserving of a starring role in the new films.
Kyrie eleison, Joss eleison, kyrie eleison…
Keeping it low-key with a dagger and a nice leather catsuit.
Let’s all thank Man Of Steel’s box office returns for scaring Marvel into signing a goddamn cheque for once
Loki won’t be seen in The Avengers 2, meaning that The Hulk cannot continue his mental and physical abuse of poor Tom Hiddleston
Snipe London
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