Blink and you’ll miss Matthew McConaughey…

Bet your bottom dollar she’ll be adorable and fuzzy-haired once again.

Returning with another crash course in revisionist history, Quentin Tarantino invites us to buckle up and cast our minds back to pre-Civil War America for a trip through the South’s slave circuit. Bold, bloody, and arriving after what must have been a very short stay in the editing room, the ‘Southern’ epic Django Unchained is finally here.

Assuming the Mayans don’t bring their A-game and take out the entire world by New Year’s Eve (not likely; one thing we know about Mayans is they’re hella lazy), it will soon be 2013. And you know what that means – LOADS of shiny new 2013 films! We’ve trawled the Internet to find the Hollywood big-hitters most likely to get us going in what future generations will probably remember as 4346 in the Korean calendar. Depending on, you know, factors.

BeneDICK CumberBITCH (we’re very upset right now)

Michael Fassbender and Ryan Gosling in a love triange? We’d like to be the meat in that sandwich.