Films out in Summer 2011
Release date: 27th April
Kenneth Branagh, aliens, superheroes and a bloody massive great big hammer – what a combination to start us off with. Cast down to earth by his bad-ass-one-eyed father Odin (Anthony Hopkins), Thor (Chris Hemsworth) lands with a crash on our very own green and pleasant land, copping an eyeful of the even more pleasant Jane Foster (Natalie Portman). But there’s not much time to fall in love (hell, there’s always time for that) as bad-immortal-boy Loki goes and nicks Odin’s spear, causing chaos across the known galaxy. Who’s the only one with the power to get it back? I think we know… This better be brilliant. It just… it just better be brilliant.
Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Release date: 18th May
We have to admit, when we first heard the news that yet another Caribbean crew were sailing off into the money-grabbing mists we were less than thrilled. But gradually, with the news that Keira and Orlando are out, Johnny is still in, and so are Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane, we’re coming round. With the focus on Cap’n Jack Sparrow and a sexy mermaid-filled quest to find the Fountain Of Youth, we’re hoping that this is a voyage worth losing a leg or two for.
The Hangover 2
Release date: 27th May
Yes, of course it’s going to be exactly the same jokes as the first one, yes Zach Galifianakis will say weird things and everyone else will look at him funny, yes there will be erroneous animals wearing hilariously inappropriate attire and the word ‘Bangkok’ will get battered and bruised in the fight to squeeze all the funny out of it. But we’re still all going to go and watch it, so there’s no point dwelling on the fact.
X-Men: First Class
Release date: 3rd June
Despite the dodgy posters, the other dodgy posters and the fact that no-one seems to be at all worried about the fact that the posters are all well dodgy, we’re still up for X-Men: First Class. With a cast that includes Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, Nicholas Hoult, Jennifer Lawrence and Rose Byrne, the mutant prequel will follow the meeting and friendship of Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr in the days before they became Professor X and Magneto. Directed by the glorious Matthew Vaughn and penned by the equally glorious Jane Goldman, it’s bound to be at the very least brilliantly silly.
The Green Lantern
Release date: 17th June
Any regular reader of BFF will be aware that we suffer from an almost fatal Reynolds Blind Spot. He’s a beautiful man, there’s no denying it, and his wit is as sharp as his finely defined jaw is really bloody sharp. Were we pleased when we found out he’d be taking on the power ring-wielding, Red Skull destroying, green-lycra-clad superhero? Were you pleased when you found out about Ninja Cat?
Release date: 1st July
Bye bye Megan Fox, hello Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. After a bust-up with Michael Bay, el Fox dropped out of the critically destroyed Transformers franchise, leaving some very tiny shorts to fill. Former model and – who cares, you’re hired! – Rosie stepped up, and the result will be… well… the same as the last two Transformers films. But in 3D. Always in 3D. Horribly titled Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, it’s bound to be every 14 year old boy’s wet dream: robots, breasts, explosions, breasts, guns and breasts. God bless you Michael Bay. Bless the vital work you do.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II
Release date: 7th July
Whether you mashed your head on the side of your Special Edition DVDs just to get that beautiful scar, or you wished JK Rowling had long ago been destroyed by a woefully ripped off Dark Lord, there’s no denying that this is the end of an era. Harry, the funny looking one and the one we want to shag with ever-decreasing paedo-panic are BACK for a final wand-waving extravaganza – ONLY ONE CAN LIVE! WHO WILL WIN? HOW MANY MORE MUCH-LOVED BRITISH CAMEOS CAN WARNER BROTHERS SQUEEZE IN? CAN DANIEL RADCLIFFE’S CREEP-DANCING GET WORSE?
Release date: 29th July
Chris Evans, Stanley Tucci, Tommy Lee Jones and Hugo Weaving – it’s not a roll of quarters in our pockets, we’re just bloody pleased to see them. The recent trailer sums up the Captain America yarn pretty darn well – and we can’t help but be impressed by Evans’ pre-serum scrawn-flesh. All you need to know is that, at some point, Chris Evans punches a submarine. Awesome.
Cowboys and Aliens
Release date: 12th August
Yet another graphic novel adaptation, Cowboys And Aliens is directed by Jon Favreau, produced by Steven Spielberg and centres on a battle between… well… cowboys and aliens. Starring Daniel Craig, it follows a notorious criminal who teams up with the local law enforcers when some extraterrestrial shit goes down. Throw in Olivia Wilde and Harrison Ford, and a few more words similar to ‘cowboys’ and ‘aliens’, and we’re hooked.
Have we missed anything you’re desperate to see this summer? Talk to us…