Emma Watson won’t be going to the ball after all.

It’s February 14th and, while that may be just another flip of the daily calendar to some of you, it’s a pretty damn important day to the rest of us. Valentine’s Day is a time that should be treasured, cherished and celebrated in serious style – so put DOWN that tacky pink novelty chocolate box and feast your eyes on the top 10 chick flicks ever instead…

Disney films are, as we all know, based on inspiring stories of good overcoming evil. Or are they? Think vandalism, self-sacrifice, kidnap, false imprisonment, blackmail and murder. Think regicide. Think false heroes paraded through the world of animation, held up as icons to children too young to know better. But WE know better. And while you might think Maleficent, Captain Hook and the numerous Wicked Stepmothers are the bad guys of Disney, you’re sorely mistaken.

It’s time to take a long hard look at the top 10 real Disney villains – and, this time around, they’re paying for their crimes…

Directed by Anurag Basu, Barfi! tells the story of a Nepalese origin deaf mute named Murphy who – unable to pronounce his name – is affectionately referred to as “Barfi.” He falls hopelessly in love with upper class Shruti but not before forging a special bond with autistic teenager Jhilmil. What follows is an unpredictable turn of events that speaks to the prevailing and indiscriminate nature of love.

Have you been known to use your bodacious bootay to get what you want? Do you often declare yourself to be ‘like a god’? Have you ever seen your dead father in the stars and done exactly what ‘he’ told you? Do you sleep a lot? Then this post is for you. You see, for decades now, the Walt Disney Corp. has secretly been presenting real psychological ailments as cutesy personality traits (read: disorders) that should not only be encouraged, but put to catchy tunes complete with a key change. But never fear, BFF is here; from your Stockholm Syndrome to drug dependency, we’ve got the answers FRANK just can’t give you.

Wahey! Bank holiday! A whole extra day off, it’s like you never have to go back to work again, isn’t it? But you will. It’s happening, and if anything, it will be worse than anything you can possibly imagine. So why try and engage your brain just yet? This week’s releases in lovely trailer format – wrap that poor mind of yours around some soothing flashy noise.

Titles are important. Think about it; if you were going to eat a chocolate bar, wouldn’t you rather something delicious-sounding like a Caramel rather than a Turd? Of course you would. It’s the same with films, which is why we hate those that give away EVERYTHING in the title. Here are the 10 worst offenders, which we’ve messed with, BFF style…

…What?

But smoking is cool!

Belle doesn’t have any lines, right?