In the jungle you must wait, til the dice read FIND ZACH HELM AND CUT OFF HIS FINGERS

Assuming the Mayans don’t bring their A-game and take out the entire world by New Year’s Eve (not likely; one thing we know about Mayans is they’re hella lazy), it will soon be 2013. And you know what that means – LOADS of shiny new 2013 films! We’ve trawled the Internet to find the Hollywood big-hitters most likely to get us going in what future generations will probably remember as 4346 in the Korean calendar. Depending on, you know, factors.

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Next week: a four thousand minute trailer for The Silmarillion. In Elvish.

Let’s not forget when Bill got eaten by that massive lake monster. Poor old Bill.

THE PEOPLE’S DEMIGOD

Acclaimed TV actor Bryan Cryanston has spent the past few years juggling his multiple Emmy award-winning small screen career with a soaring cinema presence. But which Power Ranger is named after him? We’ve got all you need to know on Walter White (be honest, that’s how you think of him) in this week’s Cheat Sheet.

The rights were a steal! Because it sounds like an awful movie. And also because Lindsay Lohan is a thief.

Five time Oscar nominee Paul Thomas Anderson is back with 2012’s most anticipated film (that doesn’t feature a comic book hero or James Bond). But is his controversial take on Scientology up to scratch? The Anderson stamp gleams back at you from every polished frame, but beneath all the style there’s something missing from The Master‘s heart.

“Me gusta la manera en que mueres, chico…”