Do you think Shane Black could change her name? To, like, Sue Brown or something? Honestly, ‘Pepper Potts’ sucks all the painstakingly-crafted realism out of Iron Man.

Oh my. Did you see the size of his mighty weapon?

“Good morning, chief!” “Great Caesar’s ghost! How many times must I tell you? Don’t call me chief!”

First R-Patz, now this. Dammit, Stephenie Meyer, leave our actors alone!

Hey, you! Yeah, you! You look like the sort of guy who knows less than he should about Australian actors. Specifically, 43-year-old Australian actors who have starred in films ranging from drag queen comedies to period dramas via cannibal war flicks. Actors like Guy Pearce, in fact. Get yo’ass in here, boy, you’ve got a lot to learn…

Jesus Christ.

Thank God – we can never understand what’s going on in the Middle East until she explains it.

Running across one hundred and thirty minutes of hammer-smashing 3D insanity, Thor is absolutely everything you want from a superhero film; big, beautiful and heroically over the top. And if the plot gets lost along the way, who really cares? On to Valhalla!

There’s a lot of firsts in Attack the Block – it’s the first feature from writer-director Joe Cornish (of Adam and Joe fame), it stars a host of first-time actors, and it may be the first time that Nick Frost has done anything without Simon Pegg (or, at the least, Bill Nighy). It’s also destined to be in first place on a lot of ‘Films of 2011’ lists. Witty, scary and replete with incidences of the word ‘murk’, Attack the Block is utterly brilliant.

I WANNA ROCK!