His films have grossed more than $1.5 billion. He’s just won a Golden Globe and will probably go on to win an Oscar next month. His beard is unbearably, inexplicably sexy. You should definitely know more than you do about David Fincher, and we’re here to help…

Will Marc Webb’s Spider-Man reboot feature mechanical webslingers?

What’s iconic performance got to do, got to do with it? In our MONDAY MASH-UP, we thoughtfully re-cast cinematic classics to give much-loved tales the edge for which they’re crying out. The question is: can you figure out who’s been given the chop? (NB: If you can’t, we would advise medical assistance).

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Apart from very new couples who are still overdosing on saccharine, there really isn’t a single adult human – taken or unattached – who enjoys its enforced affection and awkward present-buying. Of course, the torture is worse if you know you’re planning to ditch your other half but still have to lavish them with contrived pseudo-love – and that’s where we come in…

And Colin won Best Actor. Well done Colin. We love you.

Sorry about the title; it’s very hard to resist these things.

And where was Season of the Witch? Nowhere you’d like to take your mum, certainly.

Regular as a clockwork digestive system full of Branflakes, it’s our weekly cheat sheet! This week, we thought we’d give you a leg up for all those inevitable discussions about Black Swan with some insider info on our absolute favourite Queen of Naboo: it’s Natalie Portman.

Stop press – The Hobbit will actually feature characters from The Hobbit!

After years of lazy, pointless roles, Nicolas Cage abruptly seemed to be dragging himself back towards the light with his acclaimed performances in Bad Lieutenant and Kick-Ass. Where did it all go wrong? If Ron Perlman had any sense, he would have attacked his co-star instead of the titular baddie in this overwrought nonsense of steel, pestilence, demons and artfully tangled hair.