Valentine’s Day eh? There’s no getting away from the hatred of it. Either you’re not in a relationship and you’re sick of being reminded of the fact, or you are and you’re sick of being reminded that you’re not the lover you should be. It’s lose/lose. And no number of happy cuddly bears are going to change that. Nothing demonstrates this collective bitterness better than the natural reaction to Valentine’s Day – Garry Marshall’s sugar-coated tale of romance and heartbreak.

Paul Greengrass’s Green Zone centres on one of the fundamental questions surrounding the Iraq war – when American and British forces withdraw completely from Iraq will the lasting legacy be peace and democracy? Or will it will be a deep-rooted suspicion that the infamous weapons of mass destruction, the supposed justification for the invasion, never existed? It’s an interesting question, though the answers in this film are perhaps just a little too easy.

With the final instalment of the Toy Story trilogy opening in cinemas this week, it’s no wonder that parents (and grown-ups furtively pretending to be parents in order to justify their DVD collection) are stocking up on the celebrated parts one and two. Already being hailed as one of history’s most successful film trilogies, it looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more DVD love from Woody, Buzz and the entire Toy Story team. And we couldn’t be happier about it.

Is it worse to feel too little, or too much? Leaving, by Catherine Corsini gives us a sharp, tight insight into a life turned upside-down by love, and unflinchingly explores what we are willing to sacrifice for our own happiness. It’s grubby, sweaty, undignified and often difficult to watch, but thanks to excellent direction and gorgeous performances all round this film manages to breathe a cool grace into its hot and sticky material.

As people whose childhoods were made up entirely of watching cartoons in darkened rooms, we’re always happy to know that our tender years was not utterly, utterly wasted. Disney has decided to adapt their glorious 90s cartoon series Gargolyes into a feature-film, and frankly, we’ve never felt more knowledgable (who’s life is pointless now, mum?)

Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief juxtaposes the battle of the Gods on Mount Olympus and the exploits of a teenage boy destined for greatness, based on the first of five books by Rick Riordan. Echoes of Harry Potter are uncomfortably palpable, but Percy at least offers significantly more laughs than the first outing of the earnest Brit wizard.

How do you tell a tale about the grisly rape and murder of a 14 year-old girl, whilst making sure it can be released a PG? By getting rid of that pesky rape and muder part, of course! Peter Jackson’s take on Alice Sebold’s novel is certainly beautiful to look at, but it has to be asked, is that really the point?

Back in that popular bestseller – the Bible, the character of Solomon (son of David, King of Israel) is known throughout the land for his wisdom. Sadly, the only thing noticeable about Solomon Kane, the star of Michael J Bassett‘s historical action adventure, is how unnaturally white his teeth are.

8pm. The building stood, tall and proud, like a glistening erection against the rain. I sighed, tonight was going to be long. Long and hard, like an glistening erection against the rain. Beside me, Carter whispered something about not using the word “erection” so loudly and often in a hostage siuation. I smiled. This kid had a lot to learn.

Don’t get too excited, it’s pretty much the same as the one you’ve already seen. We have to say that we were less than blown away by the sneak-peek at Seth Rogan’s latest flick. It’s a comedy caper take on the classic Green Hornet story, starring Rogan alongside Taiwanese musician Jay Chou as Kato.