It’s finally happened – Hollywood has run out of ideas. The blockbuster schedule is looking dead this week (at least until Brave and The Bourne Legacy make an appearance on Monday), and Best For Film Towers is accepting foreign aid to get them through the difficult times. Juice your 橙s and 柠檬s (oh yeah, we’re getting our Chinese on) and let’s faire cette chose!

Cats the world over breathe a sigh of relief as Curiosity lands on Mars. What will the NASA rover tell us? What will it find? Dust? Martians? The tattered remains of John Carpenter’s dignity? We humans had a real thing for the fourth rock from the Sun in the late 90s, ushering in a host of dreadful films about Mars whose Wikipedia blurbs end with ‘a critical and commercial failure’.

Name: Milena Markovna Kunis Date of Birth: 14th August 1983 Place of birth: Chernivtsi, Ukrainian SSR Special moves: Acting, sexy, husky voice, complete heterochromia (has one green and one brown..

Because we don’t like you to try new things without our express permission, we took it upon ourselves to give the Pyjama Party: Dance Edition at the cushy Prince Charles Cinema a whirl – six films, ten hours, millions of jazz hands. With booze. And a onesie. Under the dictionary definition of “a good time”, you will find a picture of us attempting the Dirty Dancing lift, at 6am, blind drunk.

Best For Film are a patriotic bunch (well, most of us are, at least) so we aren’t about to let some upstart American in a rodent mask and cape make us forget about British hero 007. Here are the top 10 reasons why we think that James Bond is far superior to Batman… or not, as the case may be.

Alright, so the Olympics have basically nothing to do with cinema. But who’s going to play a Bill and Ted drinking game when literally everyone in the country’s quacking away about pendulous snatches and trouble traps or whatever? We bow to the will of the people, friend, and what the people are demanding is ‘any excuse to get hammered while watching the volleyball’.

Oh hello there Summer. How y’doing? Whatcha been up to? Sure is nice to see you. So how long do you reckon you’ll – oh, you’ve gone.
It came, it went and, in honour of the sun’s fleeting but glorious presence, we’ve compiled our Top 10 Summer Movies. So next time watching the Female Greco-Roman Wrestling or the preliminary rounds of the Women’s Lightweight Snatch (yep, totally real) doesn’t appeal to you, hunker down with one of these.

Olympic fever has hit Best For Film Towers! HA, joke. We’ll be ignoring the stupid bloody sports as usual and sticking to our nice sitty-downy films, and if you don’t join us we’ll know you were the sort of twonk who used to look forward to PE lessons and not even consider sneaking off to smoke behind the bike sheds. You are not welcome here, Healthy Ones – you don’t even need a dose of citrus to guard against scurvy. Begone.

The Zefron is a bit of a dark horse these days; after seeming set for lifelong underage vaginal domination around 2006, when that guiltiest of guilty pleasures came out, High School Musical, he just didn’t take off from Disney quite as drastically as anyone expected. There was a time when he would have been anyone’s first bet for the male leads in things like Avatar – instead, he seems perpetually dissatisfied and cannot decide what he wants. We at BFF do like a mysterious one, so let’s have a wee look.

Vibrating seats? Rhythmic thrusts? FOUR INTENSITY LEVELS? D-Box motion technology has arrived in our cinema seats – just in time for 50 Shades of Grey: The Movie, I hear you cheer excitedly. Well, it turns out it’s also good for Batmen too, as The Dark Knight Rises is finally given the tools needed to move its audience.