Just when you thought the ship had finally sunk to the bottom of the sea bed, those pirates, who may or may not be in the Caribbean any more, swing back with another romping instalment of nautical based madness. Your timbers should indeed be shivering.

With a title that sounds like an emo band and a guy with a sword that is supposedly just nifty, Fading of The Cries sounds way too good to be true, huh?

Christmas was months ago but with the arrival of Nik Fackler’s film Lovely, Still, the holiday feel is still present. Bring your Kleenex, the film’s like The Notebook but for the older person.

The man behind Legion is teaming up with surprise action hero Paul Bettany once again to deliver a mad, futuristic, post-apocalyptic vampire kind of affair that is truly as ridiculous as that sounds.

Barry Munday is a feel-good rom-com premised on genital mutilation. Potentially offensive on two entirely different levels then, it’s no surprise that this is probably one to miss.

If you’ve seen one monster shark movie, you’ve seen them all. Unless you’ve seen them all except Dinoshark. In which case, you haven’t seen Dinoshark.

Running across one hundred and thirty minutes of hammer-smashing 3D insanity, Thor is absolutely everything you want from a superhero film; big, beautiful and heroically over the top. And if the plot gets lost along the way, who really cares? On to Valhalla!

The gang is back for a few more last jobs as they endeavour to take a corrupt Brazilian businessman to the cleaners and start a new life as millionaires. Boasting added Dwayne Johnson, Fast Five promises to race circles around the so-called law of diminishing returns.

There’s a lot of firsts in Attack the Block – it’s the first feature from writer-director Joe Cornish (of Adam and Joe fame), it stars a host of first-time actors, and it may be the first time that Nick Frost has done anything without Simon Pegg (or, at the least, Bill Nighy). It’s also destined to be in first place on a lot of ‘Films of 2011’ lists. Witty, scary and replete with incidences of the word ‘murk’, Attack the Block is utterly brilliant.

It’s time to don the corpse paint and bullet belts, because Adult Swim’s Metalocalypse is back to wreak Deth and commercialised destruction upon the masses – and Season 3 promises to be just as totally freakin’ brutal as the first two instalments.