Eventually Special Forces turns into a damn good survival thriller set in a beautifully captured Middle Eastern landscape. It’s just a shame you have to sit through an hour of numb, generic action to get there.

A tacky manipulative offence? A cynical piece of emotional hack work? A shockingly brazen attempt at cashing in on 2996 dead Americans? If only it was that interesting. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is most remarkable for how utterly unengaging it manages to be.

Tilda Swinton shines as the troubled mother of an even more troubled child. Though ‘shines’ is probably the wrong word to use for such a startingly bleak performance.

You might not have heard the one about the widower who bought his kids a zoo, but remarkably it has its basis in reality. While Matt Damon’s latest might be far from the actor’s best work, We Bought a Zoo is a touching, humbling and wonderfully gracious film that should begin to undo the damage caused by Kevin James’ atrocious Zookeeper. You can put down that Capuchin, it turns out they’re not all voiced by Adam Sandler.

Ever wondered what it would feel like to be told after the event that your lap-dancer has crabs? Wonder no more – this exploitation thriller come ho-mance will take you through it step by sordid step.

StudioCanal are re-releasing Jean Renoir’s finest hour back into cinemas, in honour of it’s 75th birthday. Do yourself a huge favour and go; this comic gem is as relevant as it’s ever been.

Teenage angst breaches new yet surprisingly dull territory in this pretentious thriller set in an East Coast prep school. Afterschool provides a hundred solid minutes of tedious indie art as we explore awkward social situations and drug abuse, all through one too many lingering back-of-head shots.

Uncalled for reissue of lengthy, vanilla flavoured telling of Cinderella, most famous for being mocked as David Frost’s pet project in Frost/ Nixon. Nice outfits, all the same.

The master of body horror turns his transformative talents to the mind in this story of sex, neurosis and academic one-upmanship. Michael Fassbender makes founding analytic psychology look as easy as falling off a log (which probably subliminally represents the penis), and – gasp! – Keira Knightley’s actually quite good. Analyse THAT, Viggo.

Leonard Retel Helmrich completes his Indonesian trilogy with a beautifully observed documentary about life in Jakarta. Using the “Single Shot Cinema” technique for which he is best known, Helmrich takes the viewer to the heart of a country with an unpredictable future though certain passages smack of dramatisation.