Much more exciting than The Princess of Montpensier but somewhat less digestible than The Tudors, Henry of Navarre is another one of those films where men charge around on horseback/wave swords/wave swords from horseback and women take their clothes off more than is strictly necessary. If that’s your bag, it’s pretty darn fine.

Five strangers wake up in a mysterious room, with just a ticking clock and enough water to survive for 30 days. It may sound like another Saw rip-off, but despite its flaws Hunger is an unexpected treat.

Jack Black continues to prove that he’s much better off heard and not seen in the stupidly charming Kung Fu Panda 2. Funny, warm, beautiful to look at and packed to the brim with high-speed tail kicking, it just goes to show that sloppy seconds really aren’t Dreamworks’ style.

Centring on an underwater cave exploration gone wrong, Sanctum mixes real-life events of writer Andrew Wight with the words “EXECUTIVE PRODUCED BY JAMES CAMERON”. It’s not quite The Descent, it’s not quite The Abyss, it’s not quite worth the money you’d pay for it.

Popular CBeebies character Little Charley Bear has imagined his way into your living room with his first DVD. James Corden narrates Charley’s adventures as he engages in various improbable pursuits – still, what else can he do? He can’t talk, which writes off pretty much every career path except ‘cross-disciplinary fantasy maverick’.

DISCLAIMER: This film is A Film About Animals on Farms. If you’re a young girl, and you still think being a vet involves magically making animals better all the time, you’ll love it (and I hope your parents are strictly monitoring your internet use). Everyone else: avoid All Roads Lead Home. Avoid it like it’s a sow coughing loudly circa 2009.

Ghosted is another reliable, by-the-numbers and relatively unmemorable British prison drama. Why do we keep making them? Presumably because people lap them up – and if prison-drama-up-lapping is your bag, this’ll do you just fine.

A straight-to-DVD prize, where perinatal horror and unnaturally large nipples eclipse murder, paranoia and preternatural possession into insignificant mundanity. There’s little else to say, really, except to ask if we really needed another reason to fear the gory joys of pregnancy?

Whatever Happened to Pete Blaggit? is a sci-fi comedy about weddings, zombies and rape – and, should another film ever slot into that very specific sub-sub-subgenre, we guarantee it will be better than this incoherent and nonsensical tripe.

Red Canyon is a sombre and engrossing reflection on mortality and the life events that make us who we are. Actually – no. It’s completely awful.