Again, we see posh Hugh Grant flirting like mad, this time with Keira, a woman clearly out of his league (and age range), only to lose her to super rich Colin Firth who happens to own a huge manor house somewhere in 18th Century Yorkshire. Hugh consults with friend, wise owl and all round good-egg Emma Thompson, who tells Hugh that ‘because it’s Christmas’ he should go straight round to Colin’s mansion and have a comedic fight with him, smashing into all manner of unlikely objects (whilst not getting in any way hurt) to a popular sound-track of the day.

Hugh agrees but, despite being well off, has no access to reliable transport, so gets a lift off a quirky but impoverished (although rather endearing) pal, the googly-eyed one from The Vicar of Dibley, in her pre-war Citroen Dyane. After many side-splitting scrapes with cows and mud, they arrive at the manor house on the back of a tractor driven by a caricature of a West Country farmer.

On seeing how much Hugh and Keira love each other, Colin pops them all in his private jet and flies them back to Notting Hill (which by now is only populated by white people), and gets them married by a Nimmoesque vicar, who hilariously has forgotten all the words to the marriage ceremony.

The film ends with Hugh musing that while he got his woman, it was sadly without the assistance of a deaf or disabled friend.

A Christmas treat for lonely singletons everywhere.

By Nick Allen

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