Transformers 4 will be set four years after Dark of the Moon
Transformers 4 is set to pick up a whole new story set four years after the dramatic events of Dark of the Moon –Transformers 3 to you plebeians- which to this day we carry in our memory banks like the shards of some cinematic PTSD. As always with chief robo-pornographer Michael Bay, details are thin. Dropping a few meagre breadcrumbs for anyone with the right amount of self-esteem issues to pick up and mull over (like us), Bay stated: “The movie will continue four years from the attack on Chicago (never forget)…it’s going to still have the same lineage. And it’s going a full new direction and feels very natural how it’s going in that direction.”
So, Transformers 4 is retaining the same lineage while going in a full new direction, eh? The world can breath a collective sigh of relief over whatever the hell that means. We presume it refers to a new adventure following the classic jive-talking racism-bots from Revenge of the Fallen on a trip to Saturn. Or maybe Transformers 4 will be a stripped-down character study of Optimus Prime’s teenage years, when he was forced to live with his aunt after his parents ran out of AAs and were donated to Barnado’s. Only time will tell.
Bay may speak in riddles, but one absolute certainty of Transformers 4 is the presence of Mark Wahlberg, who was confirmed to star in the upcoming blockbuster last week. The debate rages over Wahlberg’s ability to fill the gaping size 7s left by Shia LaBeouf’s absence, but we’re confident the franchise will remain an unimpeachable beacon of billion-dollar mecha-smut whatever Bay decides to do with it.