“Hey, I’m swingin’ here!”

BOWSER! IS IT REALLY YOU?

I have had it with these motherfucking memories in this motherfucking cyborg policeman!

THE D IS SILENT

It’s been a long, flag-based break, and we’re still not quite ready for the onslaught of the remainder of the week. Thank goodness then that we have the clammy embrace of TWO FOR ONE CINEMA to keep us motivated. THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S NOT MONDAY, IT’S WEDNESDAY! We’re living in the future!

Top Cat: The Movie should have been like going to have dinner with an old friend and finding out they were happily married, working away at their dream job and as pleasant and courteous as you’d always remembered them. Instead, it was like bumping into an old friend in a darkened alleyway and finding out that they’re now a crack-addled prostitute with no qualms about eating people’s faces. Seriously.

Yes, fine, no subtitles. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Keep trying, DC!

The first image from Iron Man 3 has been released, and the sight of all Tony Stark’s lovely suits has got us all nostalgic. Join us for a stroll down Memory Lane, if by ‘memory’ you mean ‘GLEAMY DEATH TROUSERS’.

BOY HOWDY