We’ve got a sponge and a warming bath right here, is all we’re saying.

YES, ROBERT! COME BACK TO US!

So close. So far.

Whaddaya mean no?

Ding dong, the Queen’s not dead! As the matriarch of the Windsor (it’s transliterated from Wyndzaargh) clan of ravenous space lizards celebrates six decades of dominion over the oppressed humans of these isles, the anti-reptile resistance continues to gather in secret in cinemas across the land. On Wednesdays, mostly, because guerrilla warriors are generally a bit strapped for cash.

Piggy holds a magnifying-glass up to life in London and reveals the everyday horrors that each one of us city dwellers silently dreads… and then it goes mental, throws in a gangster and takes us on a revenge-killing spree.

We have a lot of questions.

The PR engine cannae take the strain!

BUT THE TIGERS COME AT NIGHT

That’ll definitely give it some sort of worth.