Don’t worry it’s all metaphorical, no Wicker men here…I think.

Seems a little dramatic?

If we don’t report it, no-one else will

It’s one of those ironic titles, you see?

Yeah sure, it would be pretty easy to just shout “YEAH TROLLHUNTER LETS GO LETS GO HUNT SOME TROLLS, TROLLHUNTTTER” – but for God’s sake, this is a democracy. You have to at least let the other options get a look in. Here’s our take on the week at hand – put down your fiery torch, drop ‘Trolls: An Enthusiastic Guide’ and wrap your head around what else is on offer…

BAFTA in association with the BFI have just launched their second series of lectures from super famous screenwriters. Whether you want to write movies or you just like watching them, there’s no excuse to miss this inspiring lecture series. And there’s movie clips too, in case you get bored of all the yacking.

What one earth do you do after witnessing the brutal (and narratively ambiguous) murder of your own parents? Grow up to be a smoking hottie with revenge dripping off every exquisite sinew, that’s what. Zoe Saldana does her best in the deeply silly action-drama Colombiana, but as a film that’s never quite sure of its audience, the only things that ever really hit the mark are the bullets flying in every direction except hers…

This horror flick is ‘Hide and Seek’ meets ‘The Blair Witch Project’. Except, rather than two acquaintances politely shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries, it’s two cars meeting at speed and resulting in a heap of twisted smoking metal…

The geekery must continue…

We’re slightly nervous.