David R. Ellis is familiar enough with the slasher-less slasher genre, having previously directed not just one but two instalments in the Final Destination franchise. His latest offering sees a batch of very CGI sharks take over death’s killing duties, as another array of faceless teens line up for slaughter. At the end of the Night, however, maybe Ellis should have stuck with invisible killers, as the director doesn’t fare quite so well when handed a box of pixels and left to jump the shark instead.
Who would have thought that the history of one of Australia’s greatest environmental catastrophes could have been so enjoyable? The Cane Toad or, as some Down Under like to call it, Public Enemy Number One, enjoys an in-depth documentary courtesy of toad-addict Mark Lewis. It tickles the funny bone, sure, but it teaches us that the toads are an unstoppable rebel force and they will take Australia, no matter what…
The Smurfs 3D attempts to tackle the ultimate question: what DO you do when cuddly blue money-spinners get lodged in your toilet? It turns out the answer is: get self-referential, mother SMURFERS. Harmless, silly fun along the lines of Elf and Enchanted, Smurfs 3D does a fair job of appealing to humans big and small – but it does feel like everyone’s aware that this is fluff and nothing more. Nothing smurf? Smurfing more? You’ll pick it up.
Is there any hurt more painful than that of disappointing porn? 3D Sex And Zen has been advertised as a cheerful bums-and-boobs romp through Eastern erotica, with its tongue firmly in cheek (as well as everywhere else you can think of, sailor). Imagine my surprise, then, at being presented of two hours of utterly incomprehensible nonsense interspersed with scenes of (hilarious?) rape. Boring, offensive and utterly baffling. Don’t bother. Really.
Only the worst bits. So, like, all of it?
Snipe London
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