JUNE THE FIRST JUNE THE FIRST OH MY GOD BOOBS

FISH BOOBS FISH

Do you not understand the ONLY reason people want to see your stupid film, guys?

George Lucas’ mammoth rerelease of all six Star Wars films in 3D has finally begun with the most profitable of them all, 1999’s The Phantom Menace. Are you thinking about going to see it, just for old times’ sake? DON’T. There’s no need for you to ruin your comfortably rose-tinted memories of Lucas’ increasingly childish ‘space operas’, and he’ll only use the money to increase the diameter of his neck some more…

BORING

BOOBS! PIRANHAS!

No more big-screen boobs *sigh* thanks a lot, 2012…

(eye-popping) HAMMER!

WHY JJ ABRAMS? WHAT DID 2D DO TO YOU?

The third film in the Harold & Kumar franchise is – as expected – a mad, offensive, gross-out, hilarious piece of festive tat, sending up pretty much everything it can get its mucky paws on. It’s perhaps not as funny and boundary-pushing as the first two films, but its soft, creamy centre and winning performances from its leads make it impossible not to enjoy.