Guess what? We’ve heard of them.

For the nineteenth successive week, the greatest warriors of the mighty word-army which defends Best For Film Towers from ignorance, poor journalism and Peter Bradshaw have abandoned their posts and left the walls unguarded to gather in the Great Hall for a council of war. The enemy is not Iraq, Terror, Drugs or even HeyUGuys – it is the misery which strikes at the human heart when an Orange Wednesday ticket is wasted on a poor choice. They ask for nothing in return, and they do it all for you.

Who, in the entire history of the movies, has been the most badly behaved? Whose pursuit of sex, drugs and glory was the most relentless, debauched or just downright deplorable? We raise our shot glasses to our Top 10 real life movie LADS, all of whom go to prove that rock and roll is alive, well, and probably trying to sleep with you.

We love Fridays – the scent of a hard-day’s-nonsensing is in the air, the forgiving underpants are calling and team BFF are constantly on the verge of nervous, untrustworthy smiles. What else is there to do then, but to have a big argument? This week, we’re debating Mel Gibson – the life and times of. What’s your stance?

Once upon a time there was porn – good, ole’ fashioned, plotless porn that seemed destined to forever roam the private nether-regions of the entertainment industry alone. But smut desperately desired to be taken seriously, and Hollywood needed a harder…edge. It took one dexterous stroke of genius to bring the two concepts to simultaneous, mainstream fruition, and it wasn’t Sheen the Machine, nor was it one night misspent in Paris, but instead the reflexively novel idea of making films about (porno) films…

At the turn of the millennium, while we ordinary folk were struggling with our spelling, the Harry Potter Three; Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint were being pampered and preened, photographed and photoshopped, and showered with riches. It’s enough to give us ordinary folk a severe case of heebie-jeebie jealousy. Most importantly, it’s enough to send the trio abso-Jackson-lutely mental. Here, we provide the frankest, honestest account of the baffling circus that became the lives of the cursed stars from 2011 to the present day (which is 2031, of course).

Altogether now: “Aw, diddums…”

Actors are a busy lot. All the research, workshopping, meetings, studio time, press releases, premiere events, Oscar screenings and after parties must get exhausting. And that’s just for one film. But, there are some go-getting young gunslingers in the acting community who want to go the extra mile and really get involved with the world outside the film industry. And here they are. A list of my favourite actors who want to make a difference.

The Academy’s newest favourite lady is back on our screens with a film as distant from Black Swan as it’s possible to imagine (not least because Ashton Kutcher would clearly have wet himself when Winona got her stab on). As charming and funny as it is predictable and clichéd, No Strings Attached might make your day but won’t change your life.