I’m betting you’ve looked at some of the film posters adorned on the tube escalators and thought, what the fraggle rock is this? You think you can do better? Of course you can, because movie posters are an excuse to dredge up the most tired old formats and situations they can find. I’m going to gently guide you through the most notorious clichés of the movie poster. Teal and orange, wacky jostling, quirkie indie writing…it’s all here.

Sinbad and the Minotaur is an Australian film about a mythical Arab wading into Greek legend, and it treats both cultures about as respectfully as you’d expect from a country which used to forcibly rehome Aboriginal children. Under no circumstances whatsoever should you watch it.

It does exactly what it says on the box. Aliens. And Ninjas. Oh, and they don’t get on. What did you expect?

The humble comic book has given us some of the most iconic characters of the past century: caped-crusaders, garish Amazonian princesses, angst ridden mutants and radioactive people of all varieties have infiltrated the popular culture. But sadly not all adaptations quite live up to their two dimensional counterparts, and today we sort the wheat from the needlessly scanty PVC. Be aware that I had to re-watch a lot of these before writing this; I suffer for my work.

You probably won’t have heard of Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne. Maybe you vaguely recall them picking up a few awards at Cannes, but the filmmakers have somewhat flown under the radar of the international press. Here we celebrate the Belgian duo’s remarkable socio-realist films.

It’s about strong, Amazonian women in power, and it’s going to be glorious.

This week, we look at funny man Owen Wilson. Is he laugh out loud brilliant, or an irritating, over-rated lad in need of a nose job? Should he and the rest of the ‘Frat Pack’ stop hurting our eyes and affronting our senses, or do they deserve awards for out of the box originality? The defence and prosecution have their say.

And it looks AMAZING.

Training Day director to take on life of hip-hop icon

A rich, arrogant young British buck let loose in America? Where do they come up with these ideas…