In the run up to what would have been Princess Diana’s 50th birthday, not one, but two films are set to be released with Keira Knightley and Charlize Theron both cast as the lady who captured the nation’s hearts.

Rumour has it that Mark Wahlberg has been approached to play the role made famous by Brandon Lee in the forthcoming remake of The Crow.

SPOILER ALERT! ACHTUNG! POZOR! We have here the identity of The Hangover sequel’s sure-to-be-wacky celebrity cameo; one that will attempt to top Mike Tyson’s air drumming and face pummeling guest appearance. But if you would like to be surprised when the film (‘s trailer) hits, then back away from the article. Run now or forever hold your peace, because you can’t say we didn’t warn you!

In 1999, the award-winning East is East provided an extraordinary snapshot into the trials and tribulations of growing up as a mixed race teenager in the 1970s. Eleven years on, and time has only moved on by five years for George Khan and his brood; now cheeky ten-year-old Sajid is a truculent teenager. George takes Sajid to Pakistan in an attempt to recover his roots, but finds far more there than he expected.

For a film about the re-writing a political memoir, it’s rather ironic that the screenplay for Roman Polanski’s thriller should be one of its weaknesses. Characters are not fully formed in a script co-written by Polanski and Robert Harris, adapting his novel of the same name. Indeed, they are ciphers in a clunky and contrived plot that builds to a big reveal, which would be risible in less accomplished hands.

Absence should make the heart grow fonder but has anyone missed Jennifer Lopez on the big screen during her four-year hiatus to raise fraternal twins with husband Marc Anthony? The slow-burning 1998 thriller Out Of Sight with George Clooney remains her best work, sandwiched between the camp B-movie Anaconda and numerous instantly-forgettable romantic comedies. Lopez makes her return to pouting in front of the camera in Alan Poul’s whimsical chick flick, which asserts that love happens when you least expect it. Excited? Yep.

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the flickering of Gary Winick’s winsome romantic comedy about one young woman’s quest for everlasting love in sun-dappled Verona, the setting for Shakespeare’s Romeo And Juliet. Screenwriters Jose Rivera and Tim Sullivan serve up a steaming spaghetti of cliches, cultural stereotypes and unintentional laughs, garnished with a light classical and pop soundtrack.

Inspired by the best-selling video games series (a sentence that always puts fear into our hearts), Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time is a rollicking escapade which marries gorgeous Moroccan locations with state-of-the-art visual effects. The time-bending storyline of Mike Newell’s big budget adventure incorporates a romantic subplot, presumably to appeal to female audiences who might otherwise give this testosterone-heavy romp a wide berth.

In American Football – the opening credits of The Blind Side inform us – the highest paid player is the Quarterback. The second highest player is the Left Tackle – as the first bill you pay might be the mortgage, but the second is always the insurance. Now for anyone not American (a spectrum that very much includes us), this poignant opening message is kind of lost. But what emerges in the preceding film is an uplifting true story that emphasizes a message of the importance of protection, loyalty and trust. Which we’re pretty sure is what the Left Tackle thing is about. Yeah, we totally speak Football!
Kick-down, touch-up and homoerotic falling down!

Vampires Suck is a Twilight parody that’s vibrant on the outside and dessicated (sucked dry, indeed) on the inside. However, even a spoof movie as weak as this one does have some surprisingly redeeming features that are almost worth the price of a cinema ticket…