Bloomin typical. You wait years for an all-action adventure inspired by Greek mythology, and then two come along at virtually the same time. Next month promises the remake of the..

Ponyo is a visually arresting addition to Miyazaki’s impressive portfolio. The opening underwater sequences take the breath away with hundreds of jellyfish, crustaceans and schools of fish swarming across the screen in a dazzling display of colour. However, Ghibli’s work is usually distinguished by its attention to the emotions of the characters and here, this charming escapade doesn’t quite stay afloat. The makers seem a little too preoccupied with hitting home (over and over again) its central eco-friendly message, and this somewhat hampers the natural flow of the plot.

Sigh. And we only have ourselves to blame. Against all the odds, and the cries of “don’t listen to them, they’re shiny and plastic!”, the trite and star-stuffed Valentine’s Day has broken records in the US for for President’s Day and V-Day weekends with an estimated $66.9 million over four days. And people say romance is dead.

Disney’s next project – a live action adaptation of The Lone Ranger – has finally got a writer attached. And who’s the lucky cad? Justin Haythe, writer of Revolutionary Road.

It’s becoming a week of career changes for high-profile stars. First Madonna announces that she’s trying her hand (bless her) at writing and directing, and today Antony Hopkins first collection of paintings opens in London. Maybe being ridiculously famous singers and actors is just more boring than we thought.

The furry fiend known as The Wolf Man first howled at the silvery moon in 1941 with a suitably hirsute Lon Chaney Jr in the lead role., joined in the golden age of beasty baddies like Frankenstein and Dracula back in the 40s. Almost 70 years later, the eponymous beast runs free again across the blood-spattered English countryside in director Joe Johnston’s tongue in cheek -and exceedingly bloodthirthy – remake.

Valentine’s Day eh? There’s no getting away from the hatred of it. Either you’re not in a relationship and you’re sick of being reminded of the fact, or you are and you’re sick of being reminded that you’re not the lover you should be. It’s lose/lose. And no number of happy cuddly bears are going to change that. Nothing demonstrates this collective bitterness better than the natural reaction to Valentine’s Day – Garry Marshall’s sugar-coated tale of romance and heartbreak.

Kevin Smith, Director of Clerks, Chasing Amy and universally loved for his role as Silent Bob in various teen flicks, has been ejected from a Southwest Airlines flight for being too fat. The director was deemed a ‘safety risk’ and was forced to book another flight after being told that he was not allowed to board the plane he had booked a ticket on.

Disney has revealed – via facebook of all places – that’s it’s 2010 release based on the story of Rapunzel is going to be entitled Tangled. It could spell the end of the Disney tradition of naming their films after their central character, as it seems that the studio is worried that calling the film Rapunzel would alienate boys and prevent them from wanting to see it.

After the horrible failure of Madonna’s directorial debut (she had a directorial debut? We know, we missed it too), it seems that the queen of pop is ready to give it another try. The story she’s got her eye on is that of Wallis Simpson; the American socialite whom King Edward VIII abdicated the throne for in the 1930s. She has been described as both a “greedy snob” and a “sexual predator”.