Soon-to-be Superman Henry Cavill hones his ‘acting like a tight t-shirted wall of brunette pointlessness’ muscles in this truly unforgivable action carcrash. Bruce Willis, Sigourney Weaver, you guys are legit – what on earth are you doing here? And by the way, Sigourney, we still haven’t talked about Abduction…

Seriously.

HE’S PLAYING BRUCE WILLIS.

Yippee ki-Jai?

This Wednesday marks the release of Steven “I’m definitely going to stop being a director soon and paint pretty pictures” Soderbergh’s new film, Haywire, which stars Mixed Martial Arts champion Gina Carano. Presumably she spends the film going around beating up loads and loads of people with her martial arts skills. We literally can’t wait for that. Especially if she roundhouse kicks Ewan McGregor in the face. Anyways, to celebrate the release of this film, BFF has compiled a list of the top ten women who would kick you into next Tuesday if you tried to hold the door open for them. Enjoy!

In the immortal words of Noddy Holder, “IT’S CHRIIISSSSSTTTMAAAAASSS!!”. Well, not quite yet. But it is the first day of December today (we don’t miss a trick here at BFF). And to celebrate, we bring you the top ten films that sound as though they should be about Christmas but really, really aren’t. Luckily, we’ve reinvented all these titles to make them more palatable this Yule.

Yesterday the UK officially banned the ad for Dakota Fanning’s new fragrance, on the grounds that anyone who sees it will instantly have sex with a child. Smells like Nonce-sense to us. To celebrate this entirely rational decision, let’s spray on some Mysterious Girl and breathe deep the scent of Baffling Cash-Ins. Or, as we like to call them, Celebrities 4D (WITH AROMASCOPE)

We’re not going to say it. It’s way too obvious and a guy died. Too soon, man, too soon.

Is this what you want, Bruce? Is it really?

Does this make him Baldr or Váli? #norsemythologyjoke