Except the writers don’t know the word ‘antagonist’, so let’s just say BADDIE
No, really, there’s actual electric stuff in it. Like a LIGHTNING BOLT
Oh… We get it. We all died in a horrific server crash and this is Hell.
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1 is out this Friday. SCREAM SCREAM SWOONY DREAMZ OMFG ZZZZZ3333. Everyone is going to poop when they see this film. In honour of it coming into the world like a screaming demon baby that claws its way out, bloodied and howling, from the ruins of its mothers womb, BFF have compiled a list of the Top 10 Worst Films that the Cast of Twilight Had A Hand In. Or: the Top Ten Films Cursed by Twilight. Enjoy.
Immortals is out, and that’s as good a reason as any to get so drunk that you start calling your wedding tackle ‘Poseidon’ and telling it you’ll sacrifice a white bull to it just as soon as one trots out of the sea. Make sure you don’t substitute another bull, though, or your testicles might turn into a MInotaur. Or something. Can you tell that we’ve already started drinking?
Oh hi, Tarsem Singh. Ever heard of Icarus? Yeah, he was the son of Daedalus, escaped from Crete with wings made of wax, all that. Dead? Yeah, he’s dead – flew too close to the sun, arrogant little tit. Hubristic? Yeah, I suppose he was – still, at least he didn’t have the gall to make Immortals. Did he, Tarsem Singh? DID HE?
Snipe London
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