When a synopsis involves a group of American college students setting off on a road trip to an empty forest cabin, instinct tells us that the story will probably be a familiar one. Whether it’s to cannibals, zombies, or unwelcoming spirits, these kids are going to bite it – one after the other – until there’s just one of them left (final death optional). But have you ever stopped to wonder why it has to be that way? Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard have, and luckily for us, they’d like to share.

Remember how good Buffy was? And Firefly and Serenity? And Angel? And Firefly? DO YOU REMEMBER? DO YOU? Here at BFF we remember because, much like elephants well-versed in the art of watching films and TV shows and writing nonsense about them, WE NEVER FORGET ABOUT THOSE FILMS AND TV SHOWS. To cut a long story very short (because we’re all wetting ourselves over the release of Cabin in the Woods and need to get to the toilet pronto) we bring you a Top Ten list that would make even Terrence Malick quake in his hermit boots. So here, take these words and read them knowing there’s no way you will ever be as good a person as Joss Whedon. Oh, and, we should probably say….SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS.

He wants Joss to stop spoiling the surprises too.

STOP MAKING US BORED WITH THE AVENGERS, JOSS

So boring! And yet so moreish.

Who needs the weekend, eh? Not when you’ve got a joyful week of work, work, inertia and intellectual paralysis ahead of you, right? Alright fine, Mondays suck, but it’s our job to seek out solace. This week it’s Edinburgh’s spectacular Dead By Dawn – a horror festival like no other. Well, maybe like other horror festivals, a bit. But still. TGIM!

If you look at them really quickly at 24fps, it’s basically like a very poorly edited film that lasts half a second.

This Wednesday marks the release of Steven “I’m definitely going to stop being a director soon and paint pretty pictures” Soderbergh’s new film, Haywire, which stars Mixed Martial Arts champion Gina Carano. Presumably she spends the film going around beating up loads and loads of people with her martial arts skills. We literally can’t wait for that. Especially if she roundhouse kicks Ewan McGregor in the face. Anyways, to celebrate the release of this film, BFF has compiled a list of the top ten women who would kick you into next Tuesday if you tried to hold the door open for them. Enjoy!

Creepy cabin! Doll masks! Electronic forcefields!

Principal photography has wrapped on Much Ado About Nothing. Apparently.