It has been suggested that Channing Tatum is something akin to Upstairs, Downstairs brought to life; Upstairs is fine, but Downstairs is where all the fun stuff is at. With his unparalleled wuzuquan kung fu skills winning him the ‘Most Athletic’ award from Tampa Catholic High School, in addition to his Best Fight MTV Movie Award nomination (he was robbed by that useless arrow-slinging bint Jennifer Lawrence), not only is this clearly patently untrue, but frankly insulting for an actor of Tatum’s quality and talent. Allow this Cheat Sheet to show you why.

Different roles. Obviously.

SO MUCH ARSE

No, in-your-end-o!

SO MUCH FAMOUS

He brings out a new film every twelve to fourteen minutes, he has permanent standing orders to both Matt Damon and George Clooney, he’s about to direct a Liberace biopic before retiring to focus on his painting and he’s REALLY bald. Any guesses? It is of course Steven Soderbergh, and if you’re planning to see Contagion you’d better get involved with our Cheat Sheet…

Wait, what?

In no way is this film gay