As the Best For Film team grows by two, our collective wisdom is increased by a factor of A MILLION. That’s maths, sunshine, and if you ignore it then God only knows what you’ll end up watching this week? Bleeding mobiles? Monteing Carlos? Don’t be a mug; come on in and have some intellectually nourishing citrus juice.

There’s a possibility we were just a little too pleased with last week’s cinematic output. Dizzy, giddy and possibly even rampant with the deadly cocktail of Tinkers, Drivers, Tyrannosaurs and Lion Kings, it was inevitable that we would crash. And so we have. Or have we? THE THREE MUSKETEERS IS OUT. We have.

Rarely has a week been so dripping in cinematic GOOD. Why even bother having friends when you can simply sit in the darkness and watch people you don’t know go about their lives? We call it ORANGE WEDNESDAY, you perhaps just call it What I Do Every Night. Every Horrifying Night.

God, it’s another Wednesday. We’ll all be dead soon enough, one wonders why we bother crawling out from under our rocks day after day to drag ourselves through this ‘life’ charade we seem so fond of… Still, as long as we’re putting the effort in we might as well go to the pictures, eh? For the 39th consecutive week, we tell you exactly what to see:

How you’re supposed to fight your way through the spiky cinematic maze of Tinkers, Drivers, Abductors, Soldiers, Warriors and Soul Surfers is anyone’s guess – it’s damn fortunate then that a bit of orangey vitamin C will enhance your eyesight in the dark confusion. What? Oh whatever, all vitamins are the same, probably.

And then there were four… the last remnants of the once proud Best For Film army have dragged together the last remnants of their strength and critical prowess in order to bring you the only opinions you need to read this – or any – Wednesday. So what are you waiting for?

Yeah sure, it would be pretty easy to just shout “YEAH TROLLHUNTER LETS GO LETS GO HUNT SOME TROLLS, TROLLHUNTTTER” – but for God’s sake, this is a democracy. You have to at least let the other options get a look in. Here’s our take on the week at hand – put down your fiery torch, drop ‘Trolls: An Enthusiastic Guide’ and wrap your head around what else is on offer…

Can you believe this is the thirty-fifth time you’ve read Orange(Wednesday)s and Lemons? If you got together a load of apples, flicked all the pips into a bowl and then read every OWL since January in one go whilst consuming 2.42g of pips per review, d’you know what would happen? You’d DIE. Serious stuff, eh? Enjoy the blog!

August is officially over (though unofficially it’s been over since 1999), and so there’s no point even trying to pretend you’re off doing something summery tonight. Or ever again. Why not succumb to the inevitable and take solace in a dark room full of strangers eh? Heck, with two for one tickets, you could even get a friendly tramp to join you.

Hurrah snakes and relief cats – Best For Film towers is no longer a sad, lonely and worryingly stained place. To celebrate the new blood keeping John and Tash animated until the thirst must be slaked again we say to you: TIS WEDNESDAY. TIS TIME FOR DISCOUNT CINEMA.