Prepare for Manliness Overload.

That doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen, though – Sly will just have to find someone as inane as he is to coordinate all the ENDLESS BULLETS.

Bruce Willis. Morgan Freeman. John Malkovich. Dame Helen Mirren. These are hefty names. It might seem reasonable to assume that a film capable of bringing them together would be pretty bloody special, mightn’t it? Unfortunately, it seems that all it takes is a production company with very deep pockets. Seeing Red is a truly unhappy experience which you are advised to avoid.

Demonic horror The Last Exorcism is this week’s top grossing UK film.

Grown Ups, Adam Sandler’s latest crime against cinema, has beaten Scott Pilgrim to the UK box office top spot.

Someone needs to stop Sly Stallone before he wastes any more celluloid. An overblown, overacted mess, watching The Expendables is like liquidising all your Rambo DVDs, pouring the resulting testosterone-laden gloop into a shotgun with a generous slug of protein shake, and shooting yourself in the face.

Sylvester Stallone’s ridiculous film The Expendables has managed a second week at the top of the US box office charts.

Director and gourmand Michael Winner has expressed his relief at the proposed closure of the UK Film Council.

“We are the shadow, the smoke in your eyes, the ghosts that hide in the night…”. If anyone can think of a more ridiculous line to describe Sly Stallone and his motley crew of roided-up ex-wrestlers and 80s action heroes in 2010 action movie The Expendables, we’d like to hear it.