Seriously, these guys are the worst.

With Reagan’s biographers being all whiney about The Butler, and Naomi Watts apparently convinced that Princess Di’s been looking down on Watts as she plays her, thinking “Ooh, yes, lovely work there, Naomi,” we thought it was a good time to consider the nature of the biopic. Then we got a bit overwhelmed and decided to just harp on about a few that, for some reason or another, stood out to us.

Jessica Chastain has been in over a dozen films in the two years since she appeared on our radar in Take Shelter in 2010. This year she received her second Oscar nomination, for her portrayal of the CIA agent who found Osama Bin Laden in Zero Dark Thirty. She also won a Golden Globe for the role. This flame-haired beauty continues to impress us as she turns out wonderful performance after wonderful performance. Is there nothing she can’t do?

Ain’t nobody here but us chickens.

Say what you see, eh?

Except she does it in a charming fashion, because she’s wonderful and we love her. Ahem.

Put in a flash forward, Shane, then Helen Mirren can be in it too!

Ryan Seacrest’s jacket loses out big time.

Would you like Steven Spielberg to come over there and lick your toes clean, Michel Hazanavicius? That’s probably the only accolade left.

Sorry Meryl.