Laziness reaps rewards for Hollywood sequel. Surprise, surprise…

One minute you’re basking in rapturous applause, gratefully clasping the most coveted of all tiny golden men, and the next, well, you’re teaming up with Ashton Kutcher for yet another kooky road comedy. We explore the terrifying curse of the Best Actress Oscar, and pay homage to those poor souls struck down…

Thor the win

In a week simply splattered with bank holidays, today’s Wednesday is cunningly dressed as a dapper wee Thursday, complete with seductive near-weekend properties and an air of spontaneous, carefree mischief. BUT WE ARE NOT FOOLED. Wednesday is what you are sir, and as such you will let us in the cinema for cheap, YOU HEAR?

Running across one hundred and thirty minutes of hammer-smashing 3D insanity, Thor is absolutely everything you want from a superhero film; big, beautiful and heroically over the top. And if the plot gets lost along the way, who really cares? On to Valhalla!

Marvel Studios also considering movies featuring S.H.I.E.L.D., Black Widow, Hawkeye and Dr. Strange. When will the madness stop?

Holy pineapple chunks, Batman – it’s a brand new feature! Today and on every weekend until the Earth is consumed by fire and ice, we will be bringing you the pick of the week’s film gossip in a format so accessible, democratic and toothsome you might well mistake it for Peaches Geldof’s ladygarden. It’s time to round up the news…

HAMMER!

I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE SHOUTING ABOUT

Oh my shit, it’s April! And it’s brought along not only Fools’ Days, sweet spring showers and the prospect of some chinless wonder marrying a Sloane, but also a batch of fresh and steaming new films – some promising, others less so. Stick around as we sift through this month’s cinematic offerings week by week and separate the fresh fish (FRESH FISH, Glen Coco!) from the distinctly murky tuna salad…