Sometimes, it’s not enough to be a talented filmmaker. You don’t want to be making adventure films with a name like Spector Whussypants, and in that logic (however flimsy it is), you wouldn’t make a horror film with a non-scary name. In fact, sometimes, the scariest thing about a horror film is the name of the filmmaker. Hold on to your butt, because here are the top 10 horror directors’ names.

Julia, have a word.

Tom Six, Adolf zero.

SQUASH THAT CENTIPEDE! SQUASH IT DEAD!!!

WE CAN’T WAIT (for Tom Six to stop moving)

Do you want to be repulsed? Do you want to be disgusted? Do you want to be horrified? If so, then this film is not for you. Because what The Human Centipede 2 actually is, is REALLY, REALLY DULL.

We’re as shocked as you are.

Not cool, BBFC. Not cool at all.

Even as a hardened horror fan, I sat down to watch The Human Centipede with a therapist on speed dial. I need not have worried. Yes, the film is disturbing, but ultimately The Human Centipede is a pretty lifeless creature, that neither makes you think, fear or even laugh enough for it to gain the cult status it so clearly craves.