Sneaky sneaky.

Assassin’s Creed up against The Avengers 2 and Star Wars: Episode VII in an increasingly crowded 2015

Big beefy Bane actor to play sneaking slithery spy Sam Fisher in Splinter Cell. Too much alliteration, you think?

Assassin’s Creed developer Ubisoft manages to get a contract with New Regency for move tie-in

Fassassin’s Creed! (Thanks, Paddy)

Paul WS Anderson has committed the greatest act of cultural rape since Stephenie Meyer thought “Whitby and dogs are all very well, but none of it’s really sparkly enough…”. The Three Musketeers is plagiarised from so many disparate sources that I can scarcely keep up with them – unfortunately, however, Alexandre Dumas’ classic romance isn’t among them. This film is unforgivable.

Some days we genuinely don’t know why we bother.

Paul WS Anderson, are you reading this? We know where you live, and we’re going to force-feed you literature until you cry like a mewling baby girl.