The wait is finally over! After no fewer than four stand-alone prequels, the giants of Marvel’s metahuman stable explode onto the silver screen in a joyous orgy of action, wit and great big hammers. Visionary director Joss Whedon pulls off the ultimate balancing act as Earth’s Mightiest Heroes™ settle their differences for one of the most exhilarating superhero films ever.

When a synopsis involves a group of American college students setting off on a road trip to an empty forest cabin, instinct tells us that the story will probably be a familiar one. Whether it’s to cannibals, zombies, or unwelcoming spirits, these kids are going to bite it – one after the other – until there’s just one of them left (final death optional). But have you ever stopped to wonder why it has to be that way? Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard have, and luckily for us, they’d like to share.

He wants Joss to stop spoiling the surprises too.

Kristen Stewart looks pale. Charlize Theron looks evil. You get the idea…

So boring! And yet so moreish.

We still care. Honestly we do.

If you look at them really quickly at 24fps, it’s basically like a very poorly edited film that lasts half a second.

HAMMER (not Armie. That’s the other one)

Scarlett Johansson gets to look like she’s doing something other than providing the on-set vagina in these ones! LOL JK

It’s The Avengers: Chipwrecked. Loljk.