Blood and Ice Cream all ’round!
Watch out Abercrombies! Pussy Galore’s got a gun and she knows how to use it! Taking a leaf out of Simon Pegg’s book, Cockneys vs Zombies is a very British look at how a zombie plague would pan out. Sadly it lacks enough content to provide real bite. Whilst Cockneys has a lot of heart…and brains…and limbs, it is missing a lot of the humour that the title hints at to make it a classic Brit horror.
There is nothing we like more here at BFF Towers than seeing two totally random creatures fight it out to the death. Alien vs Predator (one, not two), Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Mega Shark vs anything really… Later on this month Cockneys vs Zombies attacks our screens and to celebrate we thought it would be fun to think of the best versus films that neither man nor beast has ever thought of before. Some might say there is a reason why these films don’t exist…well we say WHATEVS! We will get a space on our mantelpiece ready for our Oscar. Let’s kick off with Strippers vs Werewolves…oh hang on…
Ice Age 4 hurtles from one boring and entirely unoriginal scenario to another, justifying its glaring historical and chronological inaccuracies, hopeless characters, tedious plot and joyless slapstick by covering them in frozen precipitation. It’s just a rehash of previous Ice Age themes and scenes from other, better films, but told by prehistoric animals that existed millions of years apart. Sure it’s for kids, but a cinema full of children could only muster the occasional half-hearted chuckle and even the sound of Sid regurgitating something into his paw couldn’t mask the sound of artistic integrity quietly dying.
It’s Saturday morning – you’d planned to get up early and make the most of the day, but instead you hid under the covers until quarter to eleven like a shut-in with a passion for snuggliness. You’re such a failure. But never mind – if you’re not going to experience the world first-hand, you can just catch up on the best of the week’s movie news with our regular round-up!
The World’s End! 2012! Brilliant!
Brad Bird’s take on the Mission: Impossible series is a daft, big bucks action fest that falls victim to a cheesy script, a little too much fun-poking and one hell of a dreadful ending. But its breathtaking action sequences and likeable performances ultimately make it a rather entertaining watch. And it’s always fun to see Tom Cruise running about.
There’s going to be a Doctor Who movie materialising in cinemas soon, most likely with that weird whoooshing sound effect. Now if they want to do this, it turns out they’re going to need an actor to play the Doctor (we were as shocked as you were). So we thought we’d give the film producers a hand, and let you all know our picks for who would make superb Doctors Whos.