Keanu Reeves just LOVES murder
Glasses. They’re weird, aren’t they? Bits of plastic or glass slapped over your stupid face that either serve a purpose by bending light in the exact way that your warped and pathetic eyeballs fail to do, or they serve no purpose other than to obscure your epidermis. Why would anyone bother compiling a list of glasses? Because we’re Best For Film AND THAT’S HOW WE ROLL.
This year Hollywood seems bent on exploring the possibilities for our future. Tom Cruise’s Oblivion (out now!), Matt Damon’s Elysium and Will Smith’s After Earth (both still pending) have their own special vision for what the world will be like. Never ones to be left out, here at BFF we decided that a Top 10 edition had to be devoted to the worlds we’ve already come across, drawing back the curtain to unveil all the utopian and dystopian fates that await us.
Jeremy Renner continues to dominate our screens with his endless parade of identical blank-eyed punch-puppet characters, but he’s not the only actor ever to land a knockout roundhouse or stab someone through the eye! Join us for a largely arbitrary run-down of the top 13 fight scenes of all time, as chosen by, well, us. Why do we get to choose? Come a bit closer and say that, you Jessie. D’you like hospital food?
There is nothing we like more here at BFF Towers than seeing two totally random creatures fight it out to the death. Alien vs Predator (one, not two), Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus, Mega Shark vs anything really… Later on this month Cockneys vs Zombies attacks our screens and to celebrate we thought it would be fun to think of the best versus films that neither man nor beast has ever thought of before. Some might say there is a reason why these films don’t exist…well we say WHATEVS! We will get a space on our mantelpiece ready for our Oscar. Let’s kick off with Strippers vs Werewolves…oh hang on…
Cats the world over breathe a sigh of relief as Curiosity lands on Mars. What will the NASA rover tell us? What will it find? Dust? Martians? The tattered remains of John Carpenter’s dignity? We humans had a real thing for the fourth rock from the Sun in the late 90s, ushering in a host of dreadful films about Mars whose Wikipedia blurbs end with ‘a critical and commercial failure’.
It’s 2012. The planets are aligning; if you glance upwards into a star-filled sky, you’ll see Venus, Jupiter and Mars are all visible. If you read the Daily Mail, you’ll know that a “Death Star” has been seen “refueling” at the surface of the Sun (genuine news story). And, if you’re awesome, you’ll know that dystopian epic “The Hunger Games” is hitting cinemas everywhere. End of the world? Time for a drink then…