The Marvellous Spider-Man? The Super-Duper Spider-Man? The Fandabbydozy Spider-Man?

That’s 钢铁侠3 to you.

This week he’s starring in the fifth of nine Marvel movies due to feature his gleaming head and mellifluous voice. Last week he was probably playing golf. Next week he’ll be straight back to making another film, because that’s how he rolls. This week’s cheat sheet is all about Samuel L. Jackson, which automatically makes it the most badass Cheat Sheet of all time.

WHY GOD WHY

Nobody’s told him that there are Jews in Mexico too, have they?

Put in a flash forward, Shane, then Helen Mirren can be in it too!

“Oh no, it’s Monday and the rain’s come tumbling down and not even Russell Crowe in his big new boat can save me from drowning in April malaise and literal water.” Button your lip, nay-sayer! Robert Redford just rode into town with a holster full of Sundance; there’s never been a better reason to pull on an anorak and brave the storm. Thank God it’s Monday!

Guy-on Man!

For to get out of the rain…

Will Ferrell flexes his language skills and breaks out the bootlace ties for this Spanish-language action/comedy mezcla. Ever wanted to see some of Mexico’s most critically acclaimed actors charge around like they’re in a dire 70s soap opera whilst Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite says “I like bitches” over and over again? YOU’RE IN LUCK! Dodge the bullets and the dud gags and you’ll find plenty to enjoy here.