Cuarón’s latest increases its pull.

Accio girders? No, it really doesn’t work.

Irritating singer risks the lives of law-abiding road users.

The lot of a film critic is not an easy one; actors hate us, we inevitably have breakdowns during LFF, and every now and again we get accused of being paedophiles when we go to kids’ films alone. (This is a true story.) And as an unfortunate soul proved this week in America, once Google Glass rolls out we won’t even be able to further Google’s terrifying march towards global dominance in cinemas! Not that we’d especially want to, mind. Here are five other gadgets (none, alas, real) that we’d much rather take to the pictures.

We wonder how many there’ll be?

Grit your teeth, Quentin, you’ll cope.

Descendants star misses out on upside-down kiss.

GENERALS GATHERED IN THEIR MASSES

Film fans are hypocrites. We all pretend we’re in love with French dramas and ruminative comedies about AIDS, but when you get right down to it everyone wants to be – and, therefore, to watch – a superhero. We count down the heroes who’ll be setting your pulse racing in 2014.

Slow down, Margot, you’re giving us a headache.