Who you gonna call? The Crippled Franchise Humane Termination Squad!
Please, Anthony Hopkins, be better than you were in You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger…
Julian ‘Rise of the Footsoldier‘ Gilbey has delivered the goods once more with this distinctly British thriller set in the trackless wastes of the Scottish Highlands. Graphic, uncompromising violence and spectacular cinematography are the hallmarks of A Lonely Place to Die, although the only marks you’re likely to worry about are the ones you’ll leave in the arms of your seat. Nail-biting.
KATE BECKINSALE RUNS REALLY FAST AND KILLS THINGS!
Hugely talented, enviably beautiful and married to Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz is the thinking man’s crumpet and the thinking woman’s object of bitter, bitter envy. But what does she get up to when she’s not fighting mummies and winning Oscars? It’s a Tuesday; this must be the Cheat Sheet…
What a depressing, stupid sentence.
It’s Friday, the weather’s a bit duff and we properly love sharks – a Jaws drinking game was always on the cards, to be honest. So grab a spear, don’t scare the tourists and join us on the most ill-advised fishing trip of all time!
We’ll only watch it if they get Rutger Hauer back.
Snipe London
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