Sometimes, when you see a foreign film and find it anything other than completely amazing, you can be left wondering how much is lost in either translation or a fundamental cultural difference of understanding. Night of Silence (Lal Gece) is other than completely amazing, so perhaps there’s something crucial missing for a non-Turkish speaking audience.

Tomorrow’s top news: Dave Prowse to appear in Star Wars: Episode VII

“The name’s Mendes… Indecisive Mendes.”

Everything about the DVD cover of Konga proclaims it to be London’s answer to King Kong: the title, the giant gorilla angrily striding over the diminutive Houses of Parliament, the terrified blonde trying to run clear off the DVD. Unfortunately no one seems to have realised that King Kong was a rhetorical question.

Nice subjunctive, Braff. Doesn’t make you credible.

Someone fetch the Tim Burton Repellent.

“Dress me like one of your French girls.” “But horizontal stripes will make you look fat…”

Sixty-five million and ONE, sixty-five million and TWO…

I WILL COOK ALL THESE SNAILS WITH MY ABS

And Eyebrows.