Arise, Lord Michael Arndt, and take your place as writer of Star Wars VII!

Finally deciding that he’s finished with the whole ‘integrity’ thing, Mark Wahlberg sells his soul to Michael Bay

NOOOooooOOooOOOOooo! Well we’re actually not that bothered, really…

With superb performances, nail-biting tension and a commitment to recreating the world of 1979 that borders on the obsessive, Argo shows Ben Affleck truly coming into his own as a director. There are a few glaring problems that seem to plague any film attempting to dramatise a true story, but the film builds up such good will that most of the negatives can be forgiven.

We feel like those dirty bastards over at the Daily Mail

Tom Hardy in the running to play stupid, naked, jobless, homeless virgin who has never seen toilet paper.

It’s Walt Disney! But it’s also Tom Hanks! It’s like some kind of ILLUSION!

A touching, often heartbreaking documentary on the conditions that women around the world are forced to give birth in, as well as looking at the life chances of the babies lucky enough to survive childbirth. With incredible access, Welcome to the World shows us how fortunate we are to have made it even past our first birthday.

Move aside, Planet Hollywood. Nobody fucks with the Jesus!

Can someone please give HIV’ed Matthew McConaughey a sandwich?