Despite the big names on screen and behind the camera, Cosmopolis is the most niche film of 2012; emotionally frigid, wilfully obtuse and very, very talky. But it’s a delicacy, not a feast, and catching it in the right mood could leave you with one of the year’s more rewarding cinema experiences.
Master of self-conscious satire Todd Solondz is back to make that same film he always makes, except this time round there’s more hepatitis and even less to enjoy. Dark Horse has the usual complement of awkward jokes and improbable characters, but is the celebrated director of Happiness just going through the motions?
She should wear a furry hat all of the time.
Rise of the Planet of the Lizards?
If Best For Film Towers were located in District 12, we’d be shuddering at the prospect of the 75th OWL and its accompanying Quarter Quell. Fortunately, however, it isn’t and we aren’t. Instead, we’re mostly concerned about the prospect of you accidentally going to a crap film. WE’RE SO SELFLESS DO WHAT WE SAY.
In 1986, one of the reactors at the Soviet nuclear power station near Chernobyl failed, resulting in the worst nuclear disaster of all time. In 2012, a director so phenomenally irrelevant he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page made a film which not only trivialised the Chernobyl catastrophe but also had the gall to be trite, poorly made and awe-inspiringly boring. By the end of Chernobyl Diaries you will be begging for the sweet, scabby embrace of a radioactive mutant Ukrainian. And it’s not often we say that.
Snipe London
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