Lord! Look at the cheekbones on that thing! You could grate cheese on those. Evil cheese!
Sigourney Weaver is back on our screens this week with Red Lights, her third dismal thriller in under a year. But there’s more than guns and Cillian Murphy to the Queen of Sci-Fi, the woman credited with finally bringing gender balance to the Force from Ghostbusters to Avatar. Oh, and did you know she’s part of a club that includes Jamie Foxx, Emma Thompson and Al Pacino? It’s Cheat Sheet o’clock!
Please be fake. Please be fake. Please be fake.
The director and star of Forgetting Sarah Marshall reunite for another offbeat romantic comedy designed to tug on your heartstrings, elbow your tearducts and rabbit-punch your laughter glands in equal measure. The Five-Year Engagement is perfectly watchable, but should rom-coms really be this bloody miserable?
You might think that a thriller featuring big names like Robert De Niro, Sigourney Weaver and Cillian Murphy – alongside brand-new hot property Elizabeth Olsen – would at the very least be a slickly filmed, if creatively hollow, venture. Sure, Robert De Niro was in New Year’s Eve and thus has obviously lost his marbles. But Cillian Murphy wouldn’t be in a film that didn’t make sense, would he? You’d think that wouldn’t you? But no. Nope. You won’t find anything plausible here; only a collection of dodgy, derivative, poorly-acted strands mashed together like a jigsaw done by a drunk toddler. And not as fun to watch.
Snipe London
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