Your brain is gearing up for another week of think-filth, so who can blame you for spending your final hours of freedom gawping cheerily into nothingness? There are BRAND NEW films out this week, and all of them have splendid, noisy trailers. Stop trying to read anything, leave the washing-up where it is and promise yourself you’ll definitely change your sheets in an hour or so – WATCHING TRAILERS IS NOW!
Today heralds the release of post-nuclear war horror flick The Divide. In order to celebrate its arrival onto our screens, BFF brings you a drinking game that will help you forget about the fact that your hair is falling out in clumps (because of the radiation) and that there’s a ton of zombies hammering at your door hungry to eat your brains or whatever.
Film journalists often run through a certain number of preparations before the release of a new film. For any new Michael Bay movie the Caps Lock will be checked and re-checked; before every Katherine Heigl feature critics will hurry out to bathe in acid; and for Christopher Nolan they will bend over and spread their cheeks accordingly. Not so for poor Amanda Seyfried, whose new film Gone opens this week to deafening silence. Probably because there’s not that much to say. Well, except this.
Kablamm! Hear that? It’s the (scientifically inaccurate) sound of space crap exploding in your face! BAZAMMM! Welcome to Lockout, people. If you’re looking for a film that’s entertaining in a kind of “We all know the drill, let’s get this over and done with shall we?” kinda way, it’s officially your lucky day. Explosions! Psychotic prisoners! Space! Guy Pearce’s upper arms! What more could you ask for? Well apart from logic and a strong story, obviously.
Will Ferrell flexes his language skills and breaks out the bootlace ties for this Spanish-language action/comedy mezcla. Ever wanted to see some of Mexico’s most critically acclaimed actors charge around like they’re in a dire 70s soap opera whilst Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite says “I like bitches” over and over again? YOU’RE IN LUCK! Dodge the bullets and the dud gags and you’ll find plenty to enjoy here.
Cue a furious war of trailer one-upmanship…
Best for Bullshit! You heard it here first, folks.
Snipe London
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